


Always You

by noalove



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Submissive Kihyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-11-09 03:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17994080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noalove/pseuds/noalove
Summary: Kihyun falls in love too quickly.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this is loosely based on a manga i forgotten the name.

Son Hyunwoo watched his bestfriend’s heart break the first time when they were fourteen. 

 

 

Yoo Kihyun was a shy, quiet one in class, hiding behind his elongated bangs. The other boys grew tall as puberty hits but Kihyun remained small, his built petite and it suited his gentle personality, his tender movements. His charms were his pretty smile, in fact, Kihyun grew popular because that- Kihyun is what one would call a pretty boy.

 

 

It was no surprise that Kihyun would receive an admire’s letter, in the midst of summer school- where they found tucked in between his shoes. Hyunwoo remebered the terrified look on Kihyun’s face, it was priceless; the sun was shining out and the hazel of Kihyun's eyes illuminated golden as they widened. _Go for it_ , he had said giving Kihyun's shoulder a gentle push and reminding him he could say no if he wanted to.

 

 

 

So Hyunwoo hid behind a tree, a willow tree to be exact, watching from a far (Kihyun had forced him along, guilt-tripping him) as Kihyun waited at the school’s old block; the letter had said for Kihyun to meet them there. And to their surprise, it wasn’t a girl one would expect- it was a senior, two years older and a _boy_.

 

 

 

Tall, handsome, the school star swimmer, the older boy was definitely popular, sought after by the girls of their school and to see him there, blushing in front of Kihyun as he extended a box of banana milk for a gift; Hyunwoo had felt something different. A little tug in his stomach, neither good or bad, but definitely something. So he scratched the back of his head and looked away, leaving the two, they needed privacy anyway.

 

 

 

“Are you gay, Ki?” He asked afterwards, Kihyun was typing away on his phone and sometimes he would pause to bite on his lower lip nervously. They were walking towards a convenience store they usually stop for ice cream during the scorching hot weather. 

 

 

 

Kihyun shrugged, placing his phone in his pocket, Hyunwoo's eyes followed, “I don’t know.” 

 

 

 

Birds were chirping in a distance, Hyunwoo pursed his lips and he waited for the sound to fade before he spoke again,”Why did you say yes?”

 

 

 

There was another shrug, and Hyunwoo left it at that. It was to his surprise when suddenly Kihyun had asked in a timid voice, fingers tugged at the sleeves of his school shirt, bringing the both of them to an immediate stop.

 

 

"Are you still my best friend?"

 

 

Hyunwoo didn't understand why Kihyun would ask that sort of question until he saw the tears that were pooling in his friend's eyes, the trembling the tiny hand that held his sleeve and he had comprehended why. Kihyun was terrified. It was definitely something that was fair to be scared of.

 

 

 

"Of course," he pulled Kihyun by the neck with his elbow, bringing him into a half hug then ruffling his hair, "don't insult me, idiot."

 

 

 

The relationship lasted five months, and when it ended, Hyunwoo had video called Kihyun every night for weeks to talk to him and watch him cry himself to sleep. Why did it ended? Hyunwoo didn't know and Kihyun said something along the lines of - _he didn't like me anymore, what's wrong with me, Hyunwoonie-_ which was utterly nonsense because who could stop liking Kihyun?He even offered to punch the boy's face but Kihyun turned shot the idea down.

 

 

Regardless of why it ended, Hyunwoo didn't expect it to last long anyway in the first place, seeing how they secretly have dates during school lunches, sometimes on Sundays, and when the senior would be approached by someone wondering what Kihyun and his relationship was - he would say it was nothing more than a senior-junior relationship and Kihyun was his beloved _donsaeng, his little brother._ Kihyun may smile to the words but Hyunwoo definitely could see how that word - _donsaeng_ \- hurt him. Who was he to question whether the boy KIhyun was dating was serious or not, but he definitely saw how Kihyun was more passionate about the relationship than he does, to which Hyunwoo didn't expect too.

 

 

 

"There will be someone out there for you, Ki," Hyunwoo whispered in Kihyun's ear as they laid on Hyunwoo's bed on one rainy night they had a sleepover. Kihyun responded with a smile and buried his face into Hyunwoo's chest, an almost silent _thank you_ was heard. 

 

 

As the time passed and hearts healed, Hyunwoo was beginning to see a problem his best friend has. 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Love Is Messed Up

Holding onto tickets of the movie they were supposed to see, sixteen year-old Hyunwoo glanced repeatedly at his watch before looking around for any sign of his best friend. 

 

 

The crowd was dissapearing into the building, the clock on the wall showed that they were already fifteen minutes passed the movie’s original show time and Hyunwoo extended his neck, though it doesn’t actually do much help in locating Kihyun.

 

 

 

So he fished his phone out of his pocket, but before he could type in anything into the touch screen keys, he heard hurried footsteps approach him. 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry-,” was the first words Kihyun uttered, obviously out of breath from running, “I missed the train-“

 

 

 

Hyunwoo couldn’t be angry, seeing Kihyun’s doe eyes, his disheveled fringe and loose warmer around  his neck. He was always a softie when it comes to Kihyun.

 

 

 

 

So he gave the smaller one a pat on the head, “Tell JinHo he owes me if we miss the good parts.”

 

 

 

They didn’t, the movie was barely at the introduction but that was predictable, seeing how popular cinemas would play minutes and minutes of advertisement before actually starting. Apparently, it was only Hyunwoo who enjoyed the plot because Kihyun kept falling asleep, his head would fall periodically onto Hyunwoo’s shoulder. He didn’t have the heart to wake Kihyun up, so he positioned himself properly for the sleepy boy’s comfort and contained his laughter just enough- _just_ _enough_ -so his body wouldn’t  shake hard enough to startle Kihyun. 

 

 

 

“Is sex supposed to hurt?” 

 

 

 

They were laid next to each other on Hyunwoo’s bed after the movie, Kihyun watching as Hyunwoo ran his character in the game he was playing  across the lake with a parachute. They took turns controlling the character with snacks prepared by Hyunwoo’s mother in between, it has always been that way.

 

 

 

Because of that question, Hyunwoo was forced to pause the game and turned towards Kihyun, whose face was beet red, biting his lips - a habit he developed over the years from his nerves.

 

 

 

”Ki-,” Hyunwoo sat up, placing the controller down onto his mattress, “ did you-“

 

 

 

Kihyun’s face turned a darker shade of red, “JinHo wanted to so we-“

 

 

 

”Did you want to?” Hyunwoo’s eyes turned dark and he inched himself closer, realising a purple bruise on Kihyun’s left collar bone, “I swear to God Ki if he forced you, I’ll _kill_ him.” 

 

 

 

 

“Of course- i did-,” replied the other quick,  his eyes met Hyunwoo for a moment before it darted away, “we love each other- isn’t sex supposed to be _natural_?”

 

 

Shrugging, Hyunwoo forced Kihyun to look at him by gently turning his head by the chin. He shook away the thought of how Kihyun would look like during intercourse because at the moment, his friend looked so pitiful he wanted to hug him all night.

 

 

 

This was Kihyun’s first boyfriend to have ever gotten that far. Hyunwoo felt his fists clench. 

 

 

 

”You’re asking the wrong person when it comes to this,” because indeed Hyunwoo had never been intimate with another guy, and the girls he had been with- well, he was never their first.

 

 

 

It wouldn’t be a normal conversation to ask your girlfriend on whether their first experience with sex would hurt or not. Porn didn’t help either. 

 

 

 

“I’m sure you’ll learn to enjoy it,” approaching the subject matter with caution, Hyunwoo pushed Kihyun’s fringe back revealing red rimmed eyes, “Did you? Enjoyed it?”

 

 

 

Kihyun pulled his lower lip with his upper teeth, chewing on it for a bit before a drop of blood appeared in which he licked  away too quickly. His eyes appeared tired, Hyunwoo could tell, if Kihyun were to lay a little longer, he’d definitely fall asleep. 

 

 

 

The question lingered in the air, the quiet was heavy- an unspoken intensity that burdened Hyunwoo’s back,  it weighed on him heavily that he felt like he needed to pull Kihyun into a hug, _say_ _something_ , anything at all- 

 

 

 

 

“It doesnt matter if I enjoyed it,” Kihyun smiled whispered, a small smile played on his lips and Hyunwoo felt that annoying tug in his stomach again, “because Jin Ho did.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. No Stranger to Heartbreak or Pain

_It definitely hurt._

 

 

His phone gave a short buzz. A message came up as he brought his phone to his face.

 

 

 

I have archery practice. Is everything okay?

\- Hyunwoo.

 

 

Kihyun felt a warm droplet fell from his right eye, down his cheeks. The burn in his chest had reduced when the tears fell but his throat still felt that familiar tightness.

 

 

I’m okay, text me once the practice ends.

\- Kihyun. 

 

 

How could he have forgotten? It was Wednesday and Hyunwoo would have after school archery practice as per usual, it was routine. What wasn’t in the ordinary was JinHo, calling him out after class to tell him that they needed a break. 

 

 

 

“Why?” He asked, he didn’t understand, everything was going fine- _wasn’t_ _it_?

 

 

 

”I’m sorry, Kihyun, I can’t do this anymore.”

 

 

It wasn’t a satisfactory answer. What was it that he couldn’t do anymore? What was it after months of dating that was different, that drove him away when he was the one who had came up to tell him how much he liked him.   _Why_ \- Kihyun wanted to know but he couldn’t bring himself to question anymore. 

 

 

 

There was an overwhelming sadness that overpowered his ability to speak that all he could do was walk away. He needed no one but Hyunwoo at that very moment. 

 

 

 

He’ll wait, he thought, stopping at the nearby playground, knowing very well Hyunwoo would pass after the practice ends. 

 

 

 

He must’ve sat at one of the swing for an hour, quietly crying as he watched a row of ants carrying biscuit pieces on the ground when suddenly, rain started to pour. Even so, he didn’t move, his heart and feet felt heavy- will Hyunwoo just be here already?

 

 

”Are you okay, kid,” asked a stranger that  made him look up, realising that there was an umbrella above him, preventing him from soaking more than he already was. 

 

 

 

“I am,” he spoke softly, gripping the chains of the swing.

 

 

 

”You’re a bad liar, “ replied the older man wearing a suit, briefcase in hand. He had his hair pushed back, stubbles decorated his face, “I’m Beom-Seok.”

 

 

Kihyun watched the hand that extended for him to take. 

 

 

 

”My place is nearby- if you want to dry yourself up. It’s cold aint it?”

 

 

 

 _Absolutely_.

 

 

 

It was freezing cold and Kihyun knew, it wasn’t just because he was drenched nor the wind blowing in face. It was a different kind of cold that couldn’t just heal by the warmth of fire; he needed a certain type of comfort- 

 

 

 

He took one last glance to his phone, his heart falling from how no new messages had entered. 

 

 

 

 

With hope that somehow he could find anything at all to fill the coldness of the void Jinho -and Hyunwoo- had left him with, Kihyun took the stranger’s hand.


	4. Pull you close to me now

 

Sometimes, things happen and maybe, it was his fault - or Kihyun’s- but either way, it happened and they just let it be. 

 

 

"Can I sleep over at your house today?"

 

 

Kihyun looked up from the book he was reading, it was lunch hour and most of the students had left the classroom to the dining hall. Today, they shared Kihyun's packed lunch by his grandmother; it was rice and left over beef from dinner, delicious, regardless . 

 

 

 

"I'l be a bit late if you don't mind. Beommie- hyung, wants me to come over and today, he doesn't have a meeting. "

 

 

 

Hyunwoo watched, as Kihyun pulled his uniform's colar up to hide the bluish bruise at the base of his neck. He took a deep gulp from the box of milk he had, darting his eyes away with his other fist clenching.

 

 

 

He hated the nickname. It sounded a little sleazy for a middle aged man to be called that. He was, infact, _sleazy_ , in Hyunwoo’s eyes, with that scruffy after five shave, his loosened tie and dress pants. He didn't understand how Kihyun could be attracted to him. Hyunwoo hated everything about Kihyun's current boyfriend, Beom- Seok, from the way he looks at Kihyun to the way he pulled Kihyun towards him by the waist the last time they met. 

 

 

 

He let it happen in front of him though. 

 

 

 

"Alright, " Hyunwoo shrugged, pursing his lips. A few girls had entered the class and they giggled when they caught him watching, it wasn't intentional, but Hyunwoo blushed regardless, “I don’t like him.”

 

 

 

Kihyun raised his brows, placing the book a little farther away, his hands on the table, one on top of the other, letting Hyunwoo know that he had his attention, “I know.”

 

 

 

Biting his lips, Hyunwoo’s eyes couldn’t meet Kihyun’s, instead they watched Kihyun’s neatly cut nails, his clean fingers and the pale base of his wrists- 

 

 

 

“Then, don’t-“

 

 

His hand was contrasting Kihyun’s. while Kihyun had mercy from the sun, he was  burnt- much tanner,  and  Kihyun’s skin was soft compared to his who had hours of relentless kendo and archery practice-

 

 

 

Then don’t go to _him_. 

 

 

 

With a loud bang, a bunch of boys made their entrance to the classroom, laughing, causing the girls to let out a squeal and Hyunwoo pulled his hand away from Kihyun’s. The warmth dissapearing as their skin parted away from each other. 

 

 

 

Lunch was over and Kihyun needed to return to class. 

 

 

 

“I’ll see you later, okay,” Kihyun said, standing up, his cheeks staining pink. 

 

 

 

“Ye-yeah.”

 

 

 

He nodded, avoiding the other boy’s eyes because he knew, he wore the same colour. 

 

 

 

 

Maybe he should’ve let things happen like he always does-  maybe he should’ve held Kihyun’s hand longer. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Always being let go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be a little triggering

When his father left he didn't turn his back, not even once. He didn't wave nor did he said goodbye. 

 

 

He was too young to understand why his father did, Kihyun still didn't understand.

 

 

 

First, it was his mother, then his father and he couldn't help but wonder if he ever did anything wrong that drove the both of them away and what he could have done to keep them. His grandmother would cry if he asked her when his parents would return or the reason for their departure. Until it came to a point in his life that he stopped asking and wondering. 

 

 

 

"You're so beautiful, Kihyun," Beom Seok said, carressing his cheeks, bringing him back from his temporary stupor.

 

 

 

He smiled, eyes trailing down to the camera the older man was holding. 

 

 

 

"Your beauty- I want to keep it forever with me." 

 

 

 

It was after they had their dinner, Beom Seok had cooked and Kihyun cleaned after while his boyfriend took a shower. He sat on the sofa browsing through his phone when Beom Seok returned with only a towel around his hips, his skin damp, and a recording camera in one hand. 

 

 

The camera was in front of him, placed on a stand and facing him, when Beom Seok pressed the top button a red light appeared. Kihyun wasn't sure what was going on, he frowned as he watched the shirtless man set the camera settings but smiled along when Beom Seok flashed him a grin, a subtle lick to his lips, noticeable and Kihyun tightly held his fingers together. 

 

 

 

“What’s that for?” He asked timidly, biting his lips.

 

 

 

Beom Seok sat next to him, their knees touching and a hand on his thighs, “it’s erotic watching ourselve doing it, don’t you think?”

 

 

Kihyun tilted his head and Beom Seok gently rubbed the top of his head.

 

 

 

”I guess you’re too young to understand,” he scoffed, his fingers trailed down Kihyun’s face ans lifted the boy’s chin up before bringing their lips together-

 

 

“Will you let me? Keep you forever-“

 

 

Beom Seok’s tongue pushed through Kihyun’s lips, a soft mewl escaped, and Kihyun was pushed back onto the sofa. His eyes opened momentarily to see the red light staring at him and there was an unsettling churn in his stomach.

 

 

 

”Wait-,” he gasped, the older not easing up, sucking on his neck so he pushed on the body on top of him,”Hyung, stop-“

 

 

 

”What is it, Kihyunnie?” Beom Seok lifted his head, annoyance written on his face that made Kihyun felt guilty for stopping him. But it wasn’t his fault that made him feel uneasy, rather, it was the thought that he was being captured on camera. 

 

 

 

“I- ,” he fiddled with his fingers, “I feel weird-“

 

 

 

Irritated, Beom Seok sat up, “so you don’t want to?”

 

 

 

” _No_ \- it’s not that, I just-“ frantically  Kihyun shook his head, but Beom Seok was already up and turning, not listening at all to what Kihyun was trying to say. 

 

 

And his back-

 

 

 

_Daddy? Where are you going?_

 

 

 

“Please!” 

 

 

 

Kihyun grabbed ther older man’s wrist, stopping him.

 

 

”I wa-want to, Hyung,” he pleaded, his voice breaking, on the verge of tears, begging Beom Seok not to leave. But the man didnt budge, he crossed his arms, watching with a frown, unfazed by Kihyun’s glistening teary eyes, as if daring Kihyun to prove that he was worth his time. 

 

 

 

After a short relentless moment of silence, Kihyun let his tears fall, unwilling to hold it in any longer.

 

 

 

And with the red light of the camera still turned on, his hands shaking, Kihyun began unbuttoning his shirt.

 


	6. maybe a little scared to be lonely

She was cute.

 

 

 

She had long black hair, a small face, elegant fingers and slim legs. They whispered how Hyunwoo and her looked good together. He thought so too, he liked the way she pouted and smiled but-

 

 

 

_why?_

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, Ha Reum, I have to go,” he said without hesitation after he read the message that came.

 

 

 

 

 

She pouted - the way he liked it- her cheeks were rosy pink, the colour of her lips matched,” _eh_ , why?”

 

 

 

 

”Kihyun-“

 

 

 

 

 

She scoffed, ”Kihyun? Are you kidding me?”

 

 

 

 

Ha Reum was every boy’s dream girl, he was envied after he was confessed by her, after school in the music room. She made the perfect  girlfriend, packed him lunches, waited after his practice just tonprovide him water and all but why-

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, can we talk later?” He apologised, standing up and Ha Reum crossed her arms.

 

 

 

 

”If you leave then, we are _over_.” 

 

 

 

 

He didn’t understand, why won’t she understand? It was only _Kihyun_ , his best friend, the person whom he grew up with, the person he'd go to everytime his mother had a boyfriend over or whenever he couldn't sort out his own feelings- _she_ _knew_ that but why was she getting so worked up over it. 

 

 

 

"- _Sorry_ ," was the last thing he said to her before he left. 

 

 

 

 

There was a police cruiser at the gates of Kihyun’s house when he arrived. The main door opened, two officers were leaving with an old woman seeing them off. She waved when she saw him.

 

 

 

”Hyunwoo-ah!” She hugged him, smelling like oranges, Kihyun’s grandmother always did so. 

 

 

 

 

“Is Kihyunnie alright?” He asked as he bowed to the officers that were leaving, his eyes trailed them till their cars moved away. The old lady with soft eyes - Kihyun's eyes- shook her head solemnly, ushering Hyunwoo in. She didn't say anything else besides urging Hyunwoo to talk to Kihyun.

 

 

 

So he closed the door behind him, hearing a sniff from underneath the covers. 

 

 

Without speaking, Hyunwoo snuck under the covers, placing an arm over Kihyun’s body and the shaking stopped. 

 

 

 

 

Turning over, Kihyun’s body was heated compared to his. Hyunwoo held Kihyun tight. The other boy’s tears began to dampen his shirt, still, he said nothing as he brought his lips to kiss Kihyun’s hair. 

 

 

 

 

Kihyun didn’t speak so neither did he. The silence was enough to lullaby Kihyun to sleep, not long though, before he woke up again to cry. Hyunwoo didnt realise when did he himself had fallen into slumber.

 

 

 

 

When he woke the next morning, Kihyun still sleeping, he found out on the news about a pedophile on the loose, pictures and videos of adoloscent boys confiscated from his home. 

 

 

 

 

A picture came up- the wanted man was Kihyun’s Beommie hyung.

 

 

 


End file.
